Grace to you and peace from God our Father and from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ our Brother.

It's happened before to me when Pastor C has called with the assigned topic of my next proposed sermon-- and it happened again when he called about this one

"Dumb Things Christians Believe: A Godly Home Guarantees Godly Kids"

I initially hesitated in agreeing to preach on the topic.

My first concern was that not everyone here has kids-- so the topic would by nature be irrelevant to a portion of the congregation.

And the topic didn't seem to lead very directly to the heart of the Gospel-- the perfect life and obedient death and victorious resurrection of Jesus for us and our salvation. At least it seemed to me initially that the sermon would tend to be about a peripheral matter and not speak to the heart of our faith.

But the fact is that I am a chicken. I didn't want to get on the bad side of the Senior Pastor, who is always very kind to me.... And besides, the longer I thought about the topic, the more possibilities it seemed to me to have....... So here I am.

There was one more problem that occurred to me right off the bat. That is the personal observation that those who have not had children themselves tend to be much more judgmental about parents of less than perfect kids than those who are or have been parents. Those who have not had the experience of being parents tend to put the reason for the problems they observe squarely on the parents and easily assume the parents are not doing their jobs of disciplining/training.

They don't give kids much tolerance either. And I am sure there are probably some here whose tendency is to be like that.

I have a friend who has never had children. We went to college and seminary together. We are very close, but it's very hard to listen to his views about what children should be like and what parents should be doing. They are well-intended and idealistic-- but don't fit very well into what I experience daily as a parent.

I also thought of the Christmas letters I have received over the years...... I have read many of them and sighed. Some families seem to be perfect-- children getting awards, parents getting promotions, families active in church. It's easy to feel a little envious-- and a little guilty-- as we read such letters and consider the less than perfect realities of our own families.

But sometimes from the same perfect family comes the shocking news that the family has broken up. There's been a divorce. Or letters stop coming because there has been a very unexpected imperfection that has developed in one of the children.

And more and more I have had dealings as a pastor with families where parents are deeply troubled and embarrassed by the behavior of sons and daughters-- children who seem to have left behind every value their parents tried to impart to them.

Parents are conflicted. Of course, parents love their children. They don't want the bonds to break. But sometimes, things become so sordid or just plain uncomfortable, that parents even wonder if they should withdraw from their church-- and the questions that come their way there.

As a pastor, I thought about the special pressures on Pastors Kids-- "PK's we call them in the business. It used to be at least that they were expected to be examples for the rest of the kids in the congregation-- because, if they weren't, it reflected upon their pastor-dad. The result was of course that many grew up feeling very resentful about church life-- and more than one, when finally going off to the freedom of college life, made up for the restrictions they felt at home in a big way-- and later actually left the church.

I tried to avoid being overly strict with my own kids-- so that leaving home would not provide that sudden temptation to them-- but it's not easy to know where to draw the line and how to choose battles. Parents with more than one child have to be concerned about what impact continuing misbehavior will have on the other children in the family-- or on themselves for that matter.

And not all kids are the same-- each one a different personality coming from the same gene pool and home environment. Some have physically caused or genetically caused behavioral problems. That means that there is no cookie cutter rule that can be used without evaluating the specific personality.

Some young people from exemplary Christian homes with strict parents will rebel when given freedom. Others won't. Some rebel against liberal parents and end up with more strict moral values than those with which they were raised.

The bottom line is this: To the question: Does a godly home guarantee godly kids? I would answer, "I hope not." Because my own kids are very good kids, but not perfect-- and I don't think their sometimes less than godly tendencies can easily be traced to an ungodly home. And it is unfair to try to judge other homes by that standard.

Each child is born with a human nature that is sinful. That is, as sweet and beautiful as little babies are, there is no possibility that any of them will grow up to be perfect angels. Each human child has an inborn propensity for self-centered and sinful behavior-- and that sinful nature will sometimes get the upper hand even in children from the most Christian of homes.

In the Scripture reading we heard, Isaiah described exactly such a situation from his Old Testament perspective.

The real test of a Christian home is how such failings are met. Is there both Law and Gospel there? That is, is the sin clearly identified for what it is according to God's own standards, and is there no-strings-attached forgiveness shared-- the forgiveness that flows to us all from the Cross of Christ-- when the sin is recognized for what it is-- and in some instances, before it is recognized as such when that is not possible?

In Jesus' famous parable of the Prodigal Son and Waiting Father-- the father did not wait to love his disappointing son until that son had fully and sincerely repented. The son had decided to go home and say he was sorry mainly because he had no other choice. He was broke and hungry.

But the father had always been waiting and watching, and didn't wait for the young man to get home, but ran to meet him and embrace him while he was still a long way off.

The source of the so called dumb idea that a godly home guarantees godly children is usually connected with that passage from Proverbs 22:6

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

The Lord does expect such training from parents, in both Old and New Testaments. And when there is such training in Christian homes, many parents have the joy of seeing their children practice their Christian faith as they leave the nest and establish their own homes.

But we need to be clear: A proverb is just that. It is not a promise from God. It is a God-breathed description of the way things normally work-- not an iron-clad guarantee. It is a word of wisdom to encourage us to do what we can do-- but it is not the last word about how every situation will turn out.

So it is possible that the most dedicated Christian parents will experience the sadness of having children who take the wrong path and self-destruct. We can only do our best-- knowing that our own efforts are never perfect.

Our comfort is found in knowing that we have a Father ourselves who is more than ready to forgive our imperfections and welcome us home. Jesus taught us that, and makes it possible, always.

I like the way one pastor described his own journey in parenting.

"Before Nancy and I had children of our own, I would have titled a sermon on raising children something like 'Ten Rules for Raising Godly Kids.' But birth by birth, the titles changed. The progression went something like this:

- 'Ten Rules for Raising Godly Kids'
- 'Ten Rules for Raising GOOD Kids'

- 'Five Principles for Raising ____ Kids'

- 'Three Suggestions for Surviving Parenthood'"

Probably many of you here can relate to that progression.

One other thing in the way of comfort. Have you noticed that kids turn out in unexpected ways?

Some children who bring their parents pride for always being well-behaved and compliant have trouble finding their own way in the confusing, rough and tumble world of adulthood.

The kindergartner who refuses to color between the lines grows up to be a successful out-of-the-box entrepreneur.

The class goof off goes on to become not only the life of the party, but a real leader-- and a popular top-notch salesman.

- Order shirts, socks, shoes go to Symns for suit, Banks for pants

I had an English professor in prep school that had had famous author and professor Martin E. Marty in a previous class. He often reflected that he had not recognized any talent at all in Marty's writing abilities at the time he was in class because Marty often ignored the basic rules of composition.

So let's not ever give up on our kids. Above all, they need a parent's love and acceptance and support as they search for their place in this confusing world-- even when they have refused to accept guidance-- which is normally the case at least for a time as they test their independence.... Let's never give up on our kids. Remember our heavenly Father does not leave us without support. No prayer goes unheard.

May our homes always be a reflection of the heavenly home described by our Lord Jesus-- with that patient waiting Father, ready to welcome home His returning profligate son who had squandered his inheritance on prostitutes and wild living and had ended up tending pigs. A ring for his finger, new shoes for his feet, the finest robe-- and a feast and celebration.

That same welcome is always there for all of us-- parents and children-- in the heavenly home. We all need that assurance. And such love is to mark our earthly Christian families-- love which "covers a multitude of sins".

(1 Peter 4:8)

The more we can reflect the undeserved love that rules there in our heavenly home -- in spite of the disdain of others, like that of the elder son in the parable Jesus told-- the better and more joyful and inviting and successful our imperfect homes right here on earth will be.

And the peace of God which far surpasses human understanding shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus unto life everlasting in that perfect home yet unseen.